


hot girl shit

by sapphicish



Category: WandaVision (TV)
Genre: Attempted Seduction, F/F, Failed Seduction, i am turning wandavision into a lesbian comedy actually, like. if you didn't notice straight away from the title, this is extremely nonsensical and lighthearted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29925663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphicish/pseuds/sapphicish
Summary: It's a new decade in Westview and Agatha has popsicles (organic!) at her disposal.
Relationships: Agatha Harkness & Wanda Maximoff, Agatha Harkness/Wanda Maximoff
Comments: 5
Kudos: 129





	hot girl shit

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the popsicle sample daydream scene from mrs. fletcher, and also my undying love for agatha's 00s outfit we saw ONLY in the intro to the halloween episode and never again after that, which is actually extremely upsetting for me! in a perfect world i would have my full agnes as julie cooper from the O.C. fantasy

Seduction was hard work.

There was a reason Agatha didn't do it much, but sitting across from Wanda now, she understood why people did, and realized that it definitely had its benefits even early on before anything _really_ happened. Wanda had moved Westview into the following decade overnight, which Agatha was relieved to see when she woke up in the morning. She much preferred the ridiculous but comfortable fashion of the 00's to the ridiculous but uncomfortable fashion of the 90's. Here, she could wear what she realized she was a fan of – juicy couture tracksuits.

Talk about _comfortable._

Wanda hadn't taken her eyes off Agatha in five minutes, which made her smile, though she was sure to Wanda it just seemed like she was laughing at something in the tabloid she was reading through. She sucked the popsicle into her mouth again, sighing. It was summer, and even though she was certain that Wanda would have them all celebrating Christmas or something by tomorrow, she was happy to take the heat as it came.

Besides, it helped. It was a lot easier to seduce someone with nothing but a couple popsicles and a glass of iced tea heavy with ice cubes and dripping wet with condensation. What would she do if it was winter, ask to warm up together by the fire? Please. How cliché.

Agatha lapped at the tip of the popsicle and thought fine, this was kind of cliché too – but in a fun way.

She didn't know where the children were, or where fake-Vision was, but she was willing to bet it had been Wanda's choice to have them gone at the moment, even if it was a subconscious wish moved into subconscious action. The way she sometimes acted, it was like not even _she_ knew what was going on, and she was the one who had masterminded this Westview into being.

“These are _delicious,_ Wanda,” Agatha said with relish, taking another lick from the popsicle. There was only so much longer she could make this thing last, but she didn't mind having to draw it out a little. It was working, anyway. She could tell. Every time she licked her lips, Wanda's eyes darted down. Every time she casually flipped through to another page detailing some sordid affair between people she didn't care about, Wanda fixated on her fingers. “Are you sure you don't want one, honey? They're organic, you know.”

Agatha made eye contact at the perfect time, to see Wanda's eyes darken, to see her swallow and press her thighs together uncomfortably. “No,” she said, her voice hoarse, “no, thank you.”

Poor, repressed little Wanda. If this were anyone else Agatha would already be lying on her back on the sofa, being ravaged and ravished by tongue and fingers and...

Agatha cleared her throat and made a show of pressing her glass to her cheek and neck, sighing. “I wonder when this heat wave will let up...”

Agatha wasn't quite exact on the weather, but it definitely felt hot enough to smoke a turkey in _this_ room.

She liked to think Wanda was the turkey.

“Yes, it's very—“ Wanda paused. It might have been due to the little gasp Agatha let out when her popsicle dripped into her cleavage—or the way she swept the drop up off her warm, sweaty skin with a thumb and licked it off afterwards. “...hot. Out. Today.”

She sounded like a little machine, or like she was being strangled, her words all tight and small and choked. Agatha thought it was delightful.

Agatha stood, stepped around the table and flung herself down on the couch close enough to Wanda that their thighs brushed, and Wanda's entire body jolted like an electric shock had gone through it.

“Come on, hon.” She yanked one of the popsicles from the tray and held it in front of Wanda's face. “Have a taste.”

Wanda looked at her. Her eyes were wide, helpless. Agatha laid a hand on her thigh, leaning in until her chest was pressed against the woman's arm and she could feel her breathing, could feel her warmth. Wanda closed her eyes, wrapping her mouth around the popsicle, and Agatha slid her hand further up, pleased when those sweet, slender thighs shut around her hand, imagining what it would feel like when Agatha finally touched her, how she would taste, how she would beg and then finally give in, _finally,_ and let all the truths unravel in pieces, and finally Agatha would be satisfied, and in more ways than one...

...and then she blinked, and it was dark out, and she was back home in bed, staring at the ceiling, realizing that Wanda had just hit either fast-forward or rewind on this place and knowing that she was no closer to finding out more about the phenomena surrounding Westview.

Agatha swore. Loudly.

**Author's Note:**

> if writing smut didn't make me viscerally uncomfortable this most certainly would have veered in that direction but i had to make do sorry babes <3


End file.
